I feel the need to tell you something today. Something that may surprise some people, but not those who have been paying attention. I'm in love... with two people. Everyone who knows me knows that I love Topper and have done so since that fateful New Year's Eve party that took us into 1999. Nothing that anyone else does can ever affect our relationship and I truly believe we will be together forever. In recent years, we got to a stage in our relationship where we felt comfortable with opening ourselves up to new people and new loving relationships, which has only made what we have even stronger.
However, when I first met Rachael there was no forever. I always knew she was going to be leaving the UK permanently and returning to San Francisco sometime relatively soon. By the time she went home to visit her boyfriend last Christmas, it was clear that her return to London would only be until the autumn of 2010 so, for once in my life I was decisive, and I told her that I'd like it if we could be more than just friends. Thankfully my clumsy way with words didn't put her off and, since January, we've been seeing a lot more of each other and have become extremely close. She's a wonderful person who I adore and love spending time with. Sadly, from 12th October when she flies back to the US for good, I'm going to see her a lot less often and it's going to break my heart. It was always coming and yet that doesn't make it any easier. But that's one of the great things about non-monogamy though. When we miss each other, we'll both have someone amazing there who can provide us with love and understanding to help us through any tricky times.
I also have a wonderfully dear friend who I know I can always count on. We may have been in a relationship in the past, but our non-monogamy led us to simply change the status rather than end things, so we're always in touch and there for support. I know I'm in for some sad times ahead, but I also know that it's just the start of something different. Change isn't always a bad thing.
Images by Beth Anderson and Jon Cartwright.
10 comments:
I love this post. I love how honest you are about your non-monagamy, and how you can write about it with such bravery and sincerity.
Also, both of those pictures are gorgeous.
This post is awesome.
I feel like I don't know you that well (though I wish I did) - but you know where to find me if you ever want a hug and a chat <3
This is beautiful - thank you.
Lovely. Hugs.
I agree with everyone above. This is a lovely post. Thank you for sharing this.
Awww! Rae is such a doll. I can see why!
This post is wonderful bursting with warmth and love, beautiful!
wow, love all around, not sure I could be in an non-monogamist relationship but kudos to you and your loved ones for pursuing happiness in such a courageous way
More importantly, how can two people who have the same hair colour ever be far away from each other mentally? :)
Kudos to you three!
xxoxxo
It will be okay, and you and I will be okay because we have a strong friendship at the basis of everything. Distance won't change that at all. And when we do get to see each other, it will be wonderful!! *kisses*
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