Moving forwards

My first office job was the sort you always remember. After some boring and low-paid retail work following university, it was wonderful to start using my brain again whilst getting paid decent money for it. I was solving problems, liaising with interesting people, and working as part of a really great little team. I left that role to move back to Manchester and be with Mr Topper, which was undoubtedly the best move I have ever made, but I realised recently that I have on some level been looking to recreate that job ever since. This month, I thought I'd finally found it.

I'd found the same type of role, at the same sort of institution, in same sort of team. The money offered was no different to what I'm currently on and so there didn't appear to be a down side. I was shortlisted for an interview and, although it went well on the day, the thought of jacking in my job for that one filled me with so much dread that, when they offered it to me, I turned it down. I thought it was just about the area this job would be based in (a part of London even less appealing than the one I live in), but now I think it's more than that. Perhaps I've finally worked out that I need to go forwards, not back. I can't find that job again - it'll never be the same. My boss won't be as great as Katie, my colleagues won't be as quirky as Maurice, and the surroundings could never match the wonderful old manor house with a view of the countryside. I've realised that my ideal job isn't all about the job. It's also about the place... and moving forwards.

Married with children?

I have just seen the new John Lewis advert, courtesy of The Guardian, and was very impressed. It's beautifully shot, extremely moving, and a wonderful way to showcase the sorts of items that you can buy from John Lewis whilst not being in the least bit irritating. It makes the brand more memorable, conveys their commitment to quality and, a rare thing for adverts these days, makes you want to watch it again. All in all, a truly successful campaign.

However, one little thing about it really bugs me. The typical John Lewis customer is probably university educated, so including that in the woman's life is fair enough but... marriage, then house, then kids? Even if their typical/ideal customer is indeed married with kids, who on earth does it in that order these days? I think everyone I know has at least tried to buy a place before getting hitched.

And I guess it's too much to ask for a version where they don't get married at all? Or one where she has a girlfriend?

Dear BBC

I was extremely annoyed to have my enjoyment of Doctor Who spoiled last night by the appearance of a cartoon Graham Norton on the screen during a key moment. The graphics and colours used were extremely intrusive and I cannot understand why you would feel the need to do this. The closing credits already contain mentions of the shows coming up next (thus ensuring I cannot hear the fantastic theme tune in its entirety), but that's apparently not enough now.

If you really must continue with this, please rethink your approach to it. Some simple text at the bottom of the screen would be adequate, I'm sure. Thank you.

Open and honest

Those who don't know me in real life may have already worked out from my tweets and online writing that I'm in an open relationship. I've mainly kept my blog free of that kind of thing until now because I'm a reasonably private person but, when you live by a policy of being open and honest with your partner(s), it seems a little silly to keep it hidden away on the one part of the internet that is supposed to be very 'me'. Of course, I'm not planning on telling everything and so any posts that follow on the subject will no doubt be rather vague on details, but I figured that just knowing might give some of my writing a little more context.

I believe it is possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time and, I hasten to add, this is not because I'm bisexual and therefore somehow need 'one of each' in order to function. That really isn't what being bi is all about. (For clarification on that point, please read The Bisexual Index's FAQ page.) I also believe in honest communication with all partners, so cheating simply isn't an option. It can be tough at times, but the good parts are most definitely worth it. Trust me on that one.

Happy feet

It took me a while to realise a lot of things. Until I reached my 30s I often had fat days and sometimes even pondered the strength of my relationship, but recent years have helped me see more clearly on a lot of issues. One in particular is that it is okay for me to like fashion as I am not blindly following trends and so, however superficial, it doesn't actually make me dumb.

A stranger in the street told me she loved my shoes this morning. Clothes can be enjoyed as just another way to inject a little bit of happiness into our lives.

Telephobia

I have had a mobile phone for over 10 years now but, would you believe, I hardly ever use the telephone function. Back when I was a child, I hated using the telephone. Where my sister would rush to answer a call, I would pretend that I hadn't heard it because, after all, it probably wasn't for me anyway. I much preferred writing thank you letters after Christmas to making a call, and I spoke to my friends at school every day so had no reason to speak to them when I got home. As a teenager, working for WH Smith, I got over my fear of the telephone slightly because I had an idea of who would be on the other end of the phone - customers. Answering questions and putting calls through to the shop floor seemed much less daunting than phoning my grandma, and I even managed to pass the 'dealing with a difficult phone call' part of my NVQ.

However, out of an environment where I'm forced to make and answer calls, things are always a little different. In my first year at university, we only had one phone per flat and I usually avoided answering it unless I was expecting a call. Because of my ingrained dread regarding making and receiving calls, I thought for years that a mobile phone was unnecessary. I always worry that I'll be interrupting something, calling at a really inappropriate time, or faced with an answerphone, so I'd much rather speak face-to-face or use a text-based form of communication instead. It was only when the short messaging service really took off that I decided a mobile might be useful and for years that was all I used. A pay as you go tarrif was all that was required because I never spent more than £20 on text messages.

These days my mobile is mostly used for checking email, keeping up with Twitter, browsing the web, plus sending SMS and MMS messages. I couldn't be without it, but I still hate making calls. If I have to make an appointment for anything, it takes me days to find the right time to call when no colleagues can overhear the conversation, as it always adds to my anxiety. I've always preferred text. Am I the only one?

Garment nerd

You know how grammer nerds get all uppity at people using the wrong word or mis-using apostrophes? You know how sci-fi geeks delight in pointing out that the quote you've just uttered is inaccurate? Well, I'm a new kind of pedant. I hate it when talentless hacks describe Lady Gaga's latest outfit as PVC when it's clearly made of latex. I despise people who describe a skirt or trousers as high-waisted when they actually mean that the garment has a deep waistband. I can't stand that Topshop claims to be selling corsets! I hate seeing belts that are clearly meant to sit on the natural waist, being worn too high or too low. I don't understand why, to find a strapless dress these days, you have to search for the word bandeau. Is there not some kind of style guide that people can refer to when talking about garments in order to avoid confusion?

• A woman's waist is the narrowest part of her torso. Therefore, low-waisted garments should sit below this line, and high-waisted garments above it. They should also be labelled as such.
• A corset is supposed to support and shape the body. Plastic boning does neither of these things and so high street stores should not label their strapless tops of fail as corsets. Corset top is an adequate clarification.
• And, journalists: if you don't know what fabric it's made out of, don't guess... ASK!

The terror of the blank page

Two Who episodes have passed since I last updated here because I have, once again, been overcome by a strange thing I call blog fear. I often feel the need to write, but the blank page (or white box in my browser) sometimes taunts me with reminders that what I write must be worth reading... so I put my little idea to one side and leave it for when I have the time to sit down and compose something good. Something worthwhile. Something worth reading.

Sadly, now that I have found a little bit of time and decided to squeeze out my first April blog post, the once great idea I came up with last week has escaped me. I think it was something about clothes and the way some people have absolutely no clue how to describe them. It was most definitely something that annoyed me, anyway. In the meantime, I shall remind you all that meeting people "off of the internet" is something that everyone should try as it will most definitely enrich your life. Without Twitter, I would not have met @starinmelbourne or @Fauxred, Simon would probably never have coined the phrase boozehat, and a wonderful party may never have happened. There was booze, hats, an epic cheeseboard, and a whole lot of rock (courtesy of @roseofwinter, Spotify and Guitar Hero). We were also Rickrolled and I may have danced to that. Don't tell anyone.