Sites I like
Quote of the day
"Nobody touches cats' arses but me!"
Posted on March 31, 2004 | Comments (0)
L@@K! sxy v-girlfriend 4 1mnth!!
Is there nothing that someone people won't spend their money on? Ebay are apparently trying to stop women advertising on their site as virtual girlfriends as "listings offering services relating to personal relationships (real or virtual) are not allowed", but it's still going on and some sellers are now cutting to the chase and just offering photos for sale rather than the full experience. After all, let's face it, why bother paying for a month's worth of relationship emither when all you're after is sex and/or naughty shots of a wench in her scanties. Although the former is going to be expensive if you're not willing to put in some effort, I would have thought the latter would be relatively easy to come by (no pun intended) on the net for free or a modest subscription, without having to resort to rummaging around for the dregs on auction sites. Doesn't seem like easy money for the girlies in question though as the bids are so meagre that it wouldn't even warrant a test auction from yours truly in the name of research. Still, perhaps Topper could contact a few to see if they'd like to help him build his pr0n empire...
Posted on March 31, 2004 | Comments (4)
Look-a-likes?
This post by Chris has inspired me to set up a gallery of dodgy attempts at look-a-likes and I want you to email me your contributions. What celebrity do you vaguely look like (on a dark night in thick fog)? Do you only have the same eye colour in common? No problem! This doesn't seem to be a barrier to success in the field of professional look-a-likes and so, you never know, we could make some money from it. Chances are we won't, but it could still provide literally seconds of amusement for someone.
Posted on March 30, 2004 | Comments (0)
Erotica Manchester 2004
I have just read a pretty lame review in the Manchester Evening News of the Erotica event which took place at G-Mex this weekend and so thought I'd counter it with my own brief report. First of all, I have no idea why the organisers chose Neil and Christine Hamilton to promote the show as I don't think that's the kind of image I'd associate with it. Having been to the London show a few times, I would have thought someone a bit more saucy and, well, attractive would be better suited. Still, I'm sure there's a fair few northerners who were ready to buy tickets anyway, despite the odd publicity, as it saves the annual jaunt down south for the Earls Court event. However, this show is a much much smaller affair and I was a little disappointed. There was a good mix of vendors and a great stage show (fire-eating damsels in heels, thongs and sequinned nipple covers anyone?), so a good afternoon was had but I wouldn't yet recommend it over the London version. Give it a few years though, and you never know!
In other news... Ann Widdecombe is now an Agony Aunt for The Guardian. Dear god.
Posted on March 29, 2004 | Comments (9)
Blogmeet report (ish)
Well, we started in Kro Bar with some great food, before moving on to Scubar and ending up (via Monsoons kebab emporium for some) in the Lass O'Gowrie until closing. Unfortunately, at some point in the afternoon I was convinced that drinking fruit juice was a bit of a poor show and so thankfully everyone who was there has already met me sober... apart from Gert. Sorry if I was irritating/loud/rude/etc but alcohol can make me a bit lary and Lyle wasn't exactly doing his best to calm me down. I also apologise for dishing out big hugs when Topper and I left for curry and somehow missing out Sarah.
I can't really recall many blogworthy moments but it's not due to the stupidly small amount of alcohol I got drunk on, just a bad memory. I'm sure the others remember plenty though. So, my photos are here, but try here, here, here, here, here and, if they decide to write again soon, here and here for further reports of silliness. Now I have to work out how to retrieve my car using only public transport. Eep.
Posted on March 28, 2004 | Comments (8)
Who pays them for this?
Every now and again, an advert comes along that is so infuriatingly irritating that it makes you want to hurl things at your TV and scoop your brains out with a teaspoon. Past examples of this amazingly low-brow advertising include the ungrateful bint in the Old El Paso fajitas advert, the I Love Horses partwork jingle, and every ad for 'feminine hygene' products, ever.
But now I am being subjected to an advert that is wrong on so many levels. Yes, even worse than the kid that pours his mum's perfume down the bog because his poo stinks, and the man who gets far too surprised by a bright pink bottle of bleach, is the new Sunsilk abomination. "Does your flat hair make you feel like you're part of the furniture?" the voice-over asks. No! The reason her friends are ignoring her is because she's a timid little mouse who can't raise her voice over a tiny squeak, not because she doesn't conform to your daft ideals of what's right in the world of hair these days. OK, so I shouldn't be looking to Sunsilk and their 'anti-flat' shampoo products for a balanced thirty second view of the world, but that doesn't erase the fact that this advert is annoying as hell. If only all the programmes I like to watch were on the BBC.
Posted on March 27, 2004 | Comments (10)
RIP lori-smith.co.uk forums
They haven't been around long, but now I reckon the forums on this site are officially dead. When Topper kindly set them up for me it was a great place to organise get-togethers of both lomographers and bloggers in Manchester, but then we set up lomomanchester.org which removed some of that traffic and now Chris has set up blogmeet.co.uk, sealing the fate of a much under-visited section of this site. So, if you have been to a blogmeet, are coming along on Saturday or are planning to go to one in the future, pop over and sign up. Chris has done a wonderful job with the technical side so let's all give it a nice community feel... I'll bring some tea and biscuits.
Posted on March 25, 2004 | Comments (3)
Decision made
So, what do you reckon I was pondering last night...
(a) Emigrating to New Zealand?
(b) Becoming single again?
(c) Keeping the baby?
(d) Accepting a job offer?
Hopefully, anyone who knows even the smallest amount about me will have decided that (a) is only possible if Topper gets a job at Weta Digital, (b) would only happen if Topper gets a proposal from Nicole Kidman, (c) is irrelevant as I'm not pregnant (but, babies? Euw!), and so that only leaves one realistic option. So I've seen sense and accepted a cracking job that's more interesting than my current one and pays more too.
My stupid indecision has had a couple of benefits though: a delightful quote from Topper who said, after listening to my woes before dispensing hugs and good food, "it's easy to debug the Lori"; and some concern/advice/groping from the lovely Mr Sevitz (via email). Gentlemen, I salute you.
Some final words to Lyle while I'm here - I don't even understand my own ramblings most of the time so what hope is there for the rest of you?
Posted on March 23, 2004 | Comments (17)
Decisions
I don't know who, out of the people I know IRL, reads this blog so how do I explain this current decision without revealing too much? I know talking about it will help but I don't want to create a whole load of mither for myself by giving away details to those I'd rather knew nothing about it. Hmm, let's just say that I seem to have worked out that one option is the easy one, and one is harder. The harder one may help me develop more as a person but the easier one, because I'm lazy, is more tempting and less likely to end up in disaster. I also don't know if my current emotionally imbalanced state (brought about by new pills) is what's making this decision so tricky. Perhaps things will be clearer after sleep...
Posted on March 22, 2004 | Comments (8)
Blogmeet: Resurrection (aka Blogmeet 4)
So, we decided to have a weekend blogmeet so that more of you could come and experience the wonders Manchester has to offer (i.e. us) and then I gosh darn forgot to tell you all in plenty of time. Still, if you don't have anything better to do, we'd love it if you'd come and join us next Saturday (27th March) in Kro Bar on Oxford Road from around 2pm for some food to prepare ourselves for the afternoon/evening ahead, and then we'll work our way towards the city centre from about 4pm onwards. I should really have ordered a Think Geek t-shirt before now (maybe for next time), but you'll recognise us from Lyle's shirt anyway.
Posted on March 21, 2004 | Comments (18)
Birthday blog!
I've just realised that today is my blog's official first birthday! I say official because I was spouting a bunch of old arse on live journal for a couple of months before I got my act together and started moulding this site into the red and white corner of the internet that stares back at you now. Many people need to be thanked for the part they've played in making my site the place it is today: Thanks to Topper for his technical prowess; Scaryduck for being inspirational; Chris for the unprompted compliments, just when I was wondering what the point was; Lyle for sending me the tape of the Top Gear I'd missed and for being sweary; Sarah and Adrian for travelling across the country to brighten our blogmeets; Jane and Meg for popping down the road to do the same; and a special thanks to anyone who has read this blog and left comments - I couldn't have done it without you.
Well, that's the speach over and done with... now, who wants cake?
Posted on March 19, 2004 | Comments (13)
Happy, happy, joy, joy!
The mood-swing-o-meter has decided that today will be a happy one due in part to a cracking night yesterday. Apologies must go out to the guy who was left a little startled by the hormone fuelled antics of the rest of the group, but he probably has a great deal of blackmail material on his camera phone to compensate. One of the highlights of the night for me was giving two guys a lift home and hearing them sing the praises of my six-year-old 1.1-litre Peugeot 106 from a very cramped back seat because it doesn't have any rust, make any bad noises, smell of oil or overheat the moment you start the engine. Quality. Topper and I decided while I was driving him to work this morning that, if we win the lottery, I'm keeping the car but taking it to Lotus so it's considerably easier to beat Beamers off the lights with 3 passengers.
Other things that are making me smiley today are: Steve having his offer on a fab house accepted (fingers crossed it all goes smoothly) and the fact that his site now knows who I am being confirmed by the title having changed to 'weyofthelori' (probably happened ages ago and I only just noticed but it made me grin like a fool anyway); Pixeldiva's perfect morning photos; and Diamond Geezer contemplating his options. Happy Friday to all.
Posted on March 19, 2004 | Comments (4)
*sigh*
Just when I think I'm getting the hang of being a 'grown up', it turns out I'm not at all. I coped OK with getting a job and then paying bills and stuff, but buying a house isn't all it's cracked up to be - stuff needs doing to it all the time and I'm not really a 'doing stuff' kinda gal. Renting was easy. You get a good landlord/agent and problems get fixed easily, but in your own house you have to do it yourself. Being a homeowner (aka mortgage payer) is far too grown up and responsible for me. I want to live like Tim and Daisy in Spaced, except with the addition of broadband. And without these goddamoodswings aargh! Back to 'Happy Lori' tomorrow, I hope.
Posted on March 18, 2004 | Comments (6)
A hundred emails?
Ok, so he was never going to top the splendor that was Trogdor, but Strong Bad has certainly managed to celebrate his 100th email in style. Anyone who can say the word 'deleted' without even a hint of a Mexican accent has clearly never lived.
Posted on March 17, 2004 | Comments (1)
How to cover a song
- Choose a bloody good track
- Add your own personal (ideally contrasting) style
- Do not rip the heart out of the song and throw it away
- Be prepared for people to either love it or loathe it
What you must never ever do is remake a classic song whilst injecting nothing new into it at all (see No Doubt - It's My Life), or try to make it popular only with people too young to remember the original (see Girls Aloud - Jump) as this is a recipe for disaster. Clear crossing of genres works best, e.g. The Pet Shop Boys covering U2's Where the Streets have no Name, and Jamie Cullum's current version of the Pharrell Williams tune Frontin'. Having heard the Will Young version of Outkast's Hey Ya! though, Topper couldn't help but wonder if he'd heard that Jamie Cullum is now mates with Pharrell and was just a bit too keen to meet Andre 3000. I would have thought a duet was the best for that. It worked for JT with Kylie but, then again, he did have a very 'hands on' approach.
Posted on March 16, 2004 | Comments (10)
Men what do rock, baby
Unfortunately, I have to bow to the arrival of a new era in my fantasy bedroom. Although I can still appreciate the sheer beauty of Jude, the chiselled good looks of Brad and the boyish charm of JT, in my March 2004 list it looks like unjustifiable ego is the new cheekbones. And even bad boy Eminem and the (fictional, I know) character Christian Troy in Nip/Tuck don't make the grade because they're too darned good looking.
I have no idea why I currently find men like Justin and Har Mar attractive. Maybe I figure that, before they were famous, they developed a magnificent sexual technique to compensate for being a bit wrong in the face department. Maybe a cock sure belief in your ability to perform star jumps and/or jiggle your pasty white ass on stage is really all it takes to get into women's pants these days and it's not just my confused hormone-ravaged mind playing tricks on me. Then again, maybe not. When I told one of my friends that I'd had a dream about (the wrong) Justin, she said "Euw! But he's skinny and ugly with bad teeth and hair!", and that's when I realised I had a problem. It's going to take an awful lot of Usher videos to cure me of this one, I can tell you.
Posted on March 15, 2004 | Comments (14)
Theme weeks? Feh.
I've been far too busy scanning photos to think of a suitable conclusion to plastic week and so you'll just have to visit my lomohome and take a look at them instead of hanging around here.
It's back to my usual inane drivel from tomorrow as I am once again off work and so will, in theory, have plenty of time to think up new and challenging topics to discuss with you all. Not things like how truly awful a Lord of the Rings musical would be or how different the world would be if Lord Baden Powell had warned of the 'evils' of wanking in Scouting for Boys (ahem), but really important stuff like how much respect should go to Channel 4 for asking celebs for their favourite swear word (link via b3ta). No junk on this site, oh no.
Posted on March 14, 2004 | Comments (9)
Plastic week - the Smart
I test drove a Smart city-cabrio (now renamed the for-two) a few years ago and was pleasantly surprised. It may have plastic body panels but this is no basic runabout and I was surprised at how refined it was. My only problem with the car at the time (bear in mind that I was reviewing it for a magazine and not with a view to purchasing one), was that it only had two seats but then they went and brought out a car that had the looks to make up for that flaw. The problem then was the price... over £13k! And now they're bringing out one with four seats which is also ridiculously priced. Let's face it though, I'd need some of that nasty credit stuff to afford any car though so it's all academic really.
Posted on March 11, 2004 | Comments (2)
Plastic week - credit cards
I may have posted yesterday about all the lovely things that plastic makes me think of, but there are a few nasty ones too. The worst of all has to be our so-called flexible friend. Well, I say friend; more like acquaintance. In fact, he's more like a backstabbing sycophant out to line his own pockets than a no-harm-to-anyone acquaintance these days, but who's keeping track? Oh no, not me. OK, so our generation didn't really pay attention when our parents taught us how to manage our money, but we didn't think we had to. When people with hardly any income are being offered credit (i.e. me as a student and Big Issue sellers), everyone gets caught up in it. I don't want any "you're stupid to run up a credit card bill you can't pay" lectures because no one saves for anything these days - we buy now and pay later - and in a country where I have to pay more council tax because people are suing the council for tripping up in the street, I think I am allowed to pin the blame for this debt culture on the banks. Bastards.
Posted on March 10, 2004 | Comments (2)
Plastic week - part 2
From a plastic thing that goes 'cha-mone' to several plastic things that go 'click'. When considering subjects for my plastic week, I remembered the lomography.com Plastic Fantastic Package containing four unusual cameras - two four-lensed offerings (one with a flash), one with a coloured flash, and one that uses medium format film. There is a toy element to these cameras - confirmed by their proud plasticity yet denied by the extortionate pricing strategy - but then I considered other cameras and realised that practically all photography equipment has a plastic casing these days. From the gorgeous Canon EOS 300D to the simple Olympus mju and all manner of single-use cameras, a plastic casing is needed to keep the design sleek and the weight down.
However, when we refer to a product as 'plastic', it is often to signify that it is cheap and basic. Plastic still has a 'bright yet functional' image that makes me think of washing up bowls and toy storage boxes on wheels, Asda and Ikea, jelly shoes and the plates you eat off while camping... in fact, maybe it's because plastic items remind me of summer holidays as a kid and moving into my first flat that makes them so appealing. The price tag needs to be just as enticing for the nostalgia to really take hold though.
Posted on March 09, 2004 | Comments (1)
Thought for the day
Before we return you to your scheduled programme, let's just consider this product of the warped and twisted world we live in. Have a look at this delightful dress for sale on eBay. Now imagine a similar dress with a lower back and a buttock-skimming hemline. Nice, huh? What about on a 14-year-old girl? The phrase 'false advertising' springs to mind, but I'll settle for 'just plain wrong'.
Posted on March 09, 2004 | Comments (6)
We interrupt this transmission...
...to bring you a news update. I've got too many things on my mind at the moment to be able to sit down and come up with posts that will be of any interest to anyone other than myself, so I have decided to put the blog on a back-burner for a week or so. If you still fancy reading the outpourings of my tiny mind, I'll probably still be lurking in the forums. Otherwise, I'll see you again soon *wanders off*
Posted on March 02, 2004 | Comments (7)
Plastic week - surgery
Amusing though Mr Scary's suggestion for a theme week was, I didn't think I could muster more than one post about "small plastic things that go 'neep neep neep'" so have decided to just go with 'plastic' to give me a bit more scope. But what was the first thing that came to mind when I thought of plastic things? Why, Michael Jackson, of course. It's so sad that such a talented man is probably now better known for his freak show of a face and those allegations than his music. I can't believe that he now hides his face because he's worried about getting recognised; it must be because he hates the look of horror on people's faces when they see him up close. Does this horror story put anyone off excessive cosmetic surgery? Unfortunately not. It can't be long before we see support groups for addicts who want to wean themselves off the habit before their face implodes.
Posted on March 01, 2004 | Comments (0)