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The end is near
What better way to spend my last day in this job than by eating delicious chocolate drenched biscuits and blogging? Can't keep up the slacking all day as there's unavoidable work to do later and I'm not evil enough to leave it all to my colleagues just yet, but for now I'll make the most of doing web-related stuff. After all, it'll be at least a week or so before I work out whether it's safe to blog from my new place of work. What if they don't allow internet access at all? Blimey... I might actually get some work done for a change!
They say you learn something new every day and it's true. So far today I have learnt that necrophilia is not actually a crime until this weekend but the (perhaps) equally revolting act of dogging is still perfectly legal. Slightly more lighthearted though is the 'Get Fit with The Sun' guide that accompanies this article. Half an hour exercise a day? ID cards? I can see the future now and it's fast approaching Mr Orwell's fictional one. Just remember, Tony Blair is watching you.
Posted on April 30, 2004 | Comments (15)
Lomo Lori
I have been trying to write a short biography that makes me sound like someone who should be having her photographs shown in a gallery but, having won no awards or had any other exhibitions, am not having much luck. Instead, I decided to focus on the portfolio side of things and have selected my favourite lomo images for a new album in my gallery. I'd be interested to know what the photographers out there think of them. Please bear in mind that my lomo style is most definitely 'don't think' and so composition is not something I dwell upon - overall effect is more my thing. Do they work?
UPDATE: Looks like I've won LomoHome of the Day today! I'm so happy I could bounce!
Posted on April 28, 2004 | Comments (2)
The week from hell
This week got off to a great start yesterday (spot the sarcasm?). It's my last week in my current job and we have a temp to take some of the pressure off when the department has to soldier on without me. Great idea, or at least it was before one of my colleagues went off sick leaving two of us to run the office and teach Mr Self Absorbed how to attempt to help us out. So, if there are no copies of a certain broadsheet or its magazines in your local newsagent on Saturday, and you hear reports of a dead body being discovered near the Trafford Centre, you didn't see me. Right?
I've also lost patience with the phone with the 'offensive' name so it's now up for sale in the Amazon Marketplace. The reason I give on there is that I've got a new phone with my job. The real reason is that it doesn't have a brackets or an exclamation mark in the punctuation. How the hell is anyone supposed to express themselves in a text message without exclamation marks and smiley faces? My sister's getting an upgrade and sending me her lovely Samsung but, in the meantime, I'm back to my Nokia 3310. It's so retro, dahling.
Posted on April 27, 2004 | Comments (2)
Things and stuff
Went to see Kill Bill 2 last night (or just Vol.2 as it appears to have been officially christened) and wasn't quite as blown away as I was with the first one. This is no bad thing though as, what the second film lacks in violence, it makes up for in Tarantino dialogue. You find out a lot more about The Bride and Bill in Vol. 2 and it's nice to see the characters develop rather than just get blown away after only one wisecrack. It's divided into chapters, as the last installment was, but still seems to work chronologically as the only out-of-sync parts are very useful 'flashbacks'. This film wasn't quite what I expected... but I was pleasantly surprised.
Speaking of being pleasantly surprised, our little bit in the Weekend Guardian turned out far better than I'd expected. I'll try and scan the photo today, but you could always just go out and spend £1.10 on the paper yourself. All things being well, you should get a free CD with it too. Can't say fairer than that.
UPDATE: Photo scanned and uploaded to the gallery, and next blogmeet confirmed as Thursday 13th May. Visit the blogmeet.co.uk forums to suggest venues.
Posted on April 24, 2004 | Comments (5)
Lost in translation
When I first returned to the North West of England after following up my three years at a Manchester university with two and a half years back with the parental units in Buckinghamshire, I got a job in Bolton. This is where my education really began. There are many words and phrases that I have learnt since I have become a permanent resident in this pretty corner of the UK, but my time in Bolton was perhaps the most informative. I'd like to take this opportunity to share a few linguistic gems with you in case they may prove useful on your travels.
Pants - As with our friends across the pond, pants round here are simply trousers. I suspect what I know as pants are renamed undercrackers, but I'd have to double-check that one.
Wagon - Want to get a big bunch of stuff from A to B? You don't need a lorry, you need a wagon. Trust me.
Brew - Fancy a cuppa? Tea? Coffee? Nope. We brew up round here. Get it right.
While - Until does not exist; it's while. My hours of work are nine while five. You get the idea.
Sweet - This is an odd one. In the south, everyone calls everyone else mate. Even if you don't know them. In Bolton, everyone calls everyone else sweet. Even bloke to bloke (well, the older guys I worked with seemed to). Bizarre.
My whisky-fuelled brain refuses to come up with any more, but feel free to add any regional oddness of your own in the comments box.
Posted on April 23, 2004 | Comments (7)
Motor Show Live
I've waited almost two years for it, but the time for the British Motor Show is nearly upon us again. Re-named Motor Show Live and jazzed up a bit to entice the weirdos for whom cars alone aren't enough, it's got a driving school, 4x4 course, test drive area and a stunt show. As could be expected, I shall be attending and so was wondering if any of my lovely readers would be going along too. If so, what day should I book my tickets for to increase my chances of bumping into you? It could be like a mini-blogmeet-on-wheels. Perhaps.
Posted on April 22, 2004 | Comments (1)
My Foetus
Last night on Channel 4 I watched Julia Black's controversial documentary, My Foetus, and was appalled. I couldn't believe how little substance there was in the programme - other than the images of foetuses and the 4-week abortion footage, there was nothing challenging about this programme at all. I agree with the film-maker that actually seeing the procedure for ourselves increases our knowledge and takes away the last secret enabling us to come to our own conclusions a little more informed than before, but every other important factor in the debate was just touched upon. I don't know what I was expecting from this, billed by many as a slice of shock TV, but I really did want something with a bit more weight behind it.
It was interesting that Black, although pregnant during filming, had an abortion at 21. It was fascinating that the daughter of the founder of Marie Stopes felt the need to re-examine the basis for her own pro-choice views. However, I couldn't help but feel that simply scraping the surface of such an emotive subject can't really do much good at all. OK, so the 3D images of foetuses were quite human looking, but why should that change the mind of a woman contemplating abortion? Yes, the abortion procedure at four weeks clearly showed that what was being terminated was no more than an unrecognisable embryo, but why should that change the mind of someone who is pro-life?
I think the winner here was Channel 4. Their viewing figures must have been unusually high after all that publicity.
Posted on April 21, 2004 | Comments (0)
Breaking News!
To get back at her husband for his recent infidelity, Victoria Beckham is reportedly claiming to have slept with Michael Jackson. Predictably, Jacko is denying it. He says that it couldn't have happened as, at the time Posh claims to have been with him, he was actually in Brooklyn.
Posted on April 21, 2004 | Comments (4)
Blogmeet?
Come on people... you know you want to spend time in a pub with me again. I need a 'special' occasion to wear my latest accessory to, so pop on over to the blogmeet.co.uk forums and let us know if you are busier than Lyle. All are welcome, and we promise to be nice to any newbies for at least the first five minutes.
Posted on April 20, 2004 | Comments (5)
Naked inequality
"The fact is, toplessness in a man is not equal to toplessness in a woman. For a man to experience the same level of exposure and commitment to the image as a woman posing topless, he must appear bottomless."
Franz Ferdinand kick off a week of guest editors in The Guardian today with the help of photographer Wolfgang Tillmans and his fascinating page 3 image. It's strange how our society views an image of a (semi)naked woman as normal but one of a man as shocking. I suppose it's all down to social conditioning - for years most artists and, subsequently photographers, were heterosexual men and so most nude images were of women as a result. This now means that a photograph of a woman adopting an ordinary (i.e. in no way provocative) pose can be viewed in a non-sexual way by most people, but the same image using a male model is perceived to be outrageously lewd. Perhaps I could do my bit to help redress the balance by having some male and female nudity on this site. Maybe Miriam would pose for me...
Posted on April 19, 2004 | Comments (12)
The Island
Despite never having seen The Prisoner (just the Simpsons episode that was influenced by it), I headed off to Portmeirion with some of the LomoManchester crowd today. Was tempted to look for the series on DVD when I was in the Trafford Centre later on waiting for my photos to be developed, but settled for pre-ordering Kill Bill Vol 1 in HMV to get myself a 'Pussy Waggon' keyring. What a great day... the weather was good, the buildings were photogenic, the company was great, and I think I'm developing a bit of a fondness for beards.
Posted on April 17, 2004 | Comments (3)
Statistics
As my site has now had over 20,000 unique visitors, I thought I'd celebrate by reeling off some other 'interesting' statistics. Since 20th December 2002, I've had 22,536 visits (20,003 excluding reloads), and my daily average has crept up to 41. The best day was Wednesday 28th Jan 2004 when I, inexplicably, had 113 unique visitors. 88% of referrals came from websites and 12% from search engines (76% of those from Google), with my top five referrers coming out as Chris (754), Scaryduck (594), Green Fairy (475), Lyle (472) and that nice list of updated UK weblogs (322).
For a site not offering porn (sorry Adrian), news or comedy, that's not really all that bad. I think.
Posted on April 16, 2004 | Comments (4)
Rumourmill
I've heard on the grapevine that The Darkness and Goldie Lookin' Chain are going to cover Walk This Way. Oh please let this be true. That would be the best novelty record ever, surely?
Posted on April 16, 2004 | Comments (3)
I like driving in my car
Despite the likelyhood of me replacing my current car before it's done 100,000 miles being slimmer than Victoria Beckham on hunger strike, I can't help but have a list of possible newbies... just in case. As I have no need for a big car (and am, let's face it, a girl), it's the super small models which catch my eye. None more so that the Fiat Trepiúno concept that appears on the front cover of this month's Top Gear magazine. I'm just a sucker for retro looks combined with modern technology, I suppose. Need to convince Fiat to put it into production now...
UPDATE: Speaking of pretty white things, have you seen pixeldiva's redesign? Zowie!
Posted on April 15, 2004 | Comments (14)
Slow readers' group
I used to read a lot. When I was about 7-years-old I read a dictionary from cover to cover and was amazed when my Mum told me that wasn't what you were supposed to do with it. At college a friend introduced me to Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and I ploughed through four books in no time before moving on to her Mayfair Witches series, thus giving myself headaches at uni from reading such small print by the dingy light in my room. Once I got a job, however, things changed. I still read, but it takes me ages... Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About took me so long to finish that Topper had read 4.5 books in the same time-period. Something had to be done.
As any spare time I have seems to be spent on ye olde interweb these days, time available for reading has shrunk to practically zero. Therefore, when I had to be out of the house all day yesterday to avoid arguments brought due to furniture shifting necessitated by carpet fitting, I headed to the Trafford Centre and decided I would spend my time wisely. I arrived as the shops were opening at 10am and made my selections from Borders' 3 for 2 offer, before heading to the food court and settling down with a foamy mocha and book number one. Despite relocating to a seat on one of the malls and breaking for lunch later, I'd finished the book by 2.15pm which I think is a bit of a result for me. OK, so it wasn't exactly War and Peace, but it was a proper adult novel and they say every journey starts with a single step. I just need to keep this new found momentum going.
(Note to self - Spend more time reading proper books (i.e. not Harry Potter) and hoovering new carpets with funky Dyson, rather than watching crap on Sky One.)
Posted on April 13, 2004 | Comments (9)
RomZomCom
Went to see Shaun of the Dead last night. Topper was looking forward to seeing how Edgar Wright managed to direct for the big screen; I'd heard that it's a bit of a blokes film and so wasn't expecting too much; and my sister hates gore so wasn't overly keen. Of course, Sod's Law determined that Fi and I were laughing/screaming out loud for the entire film and Topper was a tad disappointed, but that's life. I must get round to writing a proper review at some point (like this one) but, in the meantime, I'll just tell you that this film's got everything... romance, comedy, zombies, Simon Pegg... go see!
I had loads of things to blog about and now they're all gone. The unreachable archive part of my brain must be huge by now.
Posted on April 10, 2004 | Comments (4)
Googlewhack
I have one of my very own! (Not an official one it seems, but I'm happy to just be the only Google result for something!)
Posted on April 08, 2004 | Comments (8)
We love each other
Although I have been speaking to a Guardian journalist recently, it wasn't for a big feature article on how I'm the real Belle de Jour, I'm afraid. Just a small regular column on the relationships page called 'We love each other', so Topper and I will be getting cozy with Mil Millington and Arabella Weir in the next few weeks. I don't know exactly when you'll be able to view a condensed yet glossy print version of my ramblings about the 'better half', but a regular check of this blog on Saturdays for a post that demands you all go and buy a copy of The Guardian, pronto, should be all you'll need.
The photographer popped round yesterday and brought with him some equipment even more impressive than Chris' or Matt's. It's amazing how ordinary I feel in the presence of a truly creative person, let alone one as likeable, attractive and multi-lingual as this guy. Ideas seem to ooze from these people; conversations take interesting turns; they never seem to switch off and, when they leave, you feel glad to have known them even for a couple of hours. Despite not having creative jobs, a lot of the LomoManchester crowd are like this and I really enjoy meeting up with them because of it. I think this only applies to people who exercise thir creativity for love rather than money though as, once an artist's grip on reality is lost, the road to twuntage is a remarkably short one.
Posted on April 07, 2004 | Comments (8)
The spack phone
Fashion used to only really be about clothes but, more and more these days, it's become all about technology. This was always fashion for blokes - drooling over home entertainment set ups while the women compared shoes - until unisex gadgets like mobile phones and MP3 players really brought this tech-style to the masses. I've always resisted the expensive temptation of the latest mobiles as my limited use of the things means that 'pay as you text' is my best option, thus rendering annual phone upgrades wallet-meltingly expensive. Of course, if I went for a contract I'd probably just be paying for the phone upgrades by way of the monthly tariff but, either way, I can't afford it.
As I am soon to move jobs I have to hand back the phone that my current employer (inexplicably) gave me, and this has left me with the options of either returning to my ancient Nokia 3210 or buying a new handset. Tricky. I don't want to use an old phone but then I don't want to spend out on a new one either. My previous attempt at shopping for a replacement was somewhat unsuccessful too...
[Sales assistant at The Link] Can I help you?
[Me] Yeah. What SIM free phones do you have?
[Assistant] Why are you after SIM free in particular?
[Me] I'd like to upgrade my phone but I'm on Pay as You Go. I don't want to get a contract phone as I only really use it for SMS. Have you got anything for under £100?
[Assistant] Well, you could get another Pay as You Go phone and just put your own SIM in it which would be cheaper than SIM free. We've got a deal on the Nokia 7250i at the moment.
[Me] How much is that?
[Assistant] Twenty quid off so it's £170 now... but it's got a camera!
[Me] Erm, I only really send text messages, to be honest.
[Assistant] This is a great phone though... look, I'll show you...
[Me] *sigh*
I tried again though and on Friday discovered a rarity - a phone salesman who actually listens! The kid at the Carphone Warehouse understood that I wanted something cheap that could send text messages and therefore got his sale, so now I am shunning fashion with the Kia Rio of the mobile phone world. It does what I want it to do and only cost me £40 which I think is a result. OK, so it's a little on the chunky side but it's not like it has to fit in my pocket as I always carry a handbag, and that's where it will hide most of the time anyway. Laugh all you want, but I'm sure the newly christened spack phone and me will get on like a house on fire. At least no one in their right mind will want to nick it!
Posted on April 04, 2004 | Comments (27)
Famous(ish)
I've done trashy TV and now I'm going upmarket. A journalist is calling to do a phone interview with Topper and I tomorrow for a small section in Guardian Weekend, and I can't help but wonder what to wear for the photograph that will accompany it. No idea when the photographer will come round but I suspect I won't have enough time to get an "I am Belle de Jour" t-shirt delivered. Perhaps I should just request that my feet are in the photo and wear these.
Posted on April 03, 2004 | Comments (3)
The movie that changed my life
On Guardian Unlimited Film today, some actors and directors reveal their favourite films and discuss what makes them special. Obviously, this started me thinking about what movie I would have chosen had I been famous enough to be asked, and I was sent into a daze of cinematic nostalgia. After considering every film that has affected me in some way, I realised that I was taking far too long to come to a decision when the choice was staring me in the face. Which movie totally changed the way I looked at films, making me appreciate the technical side as well as the plot and characterisation? Which was the first film I saw more than 3 times at the cinema and bought on VHS (and, subsequently, DVD) the moment it came out? Which movie had the biggest effect on the way I thought, spoke and dressed? Nobody can be told what The Matrix is; you have to see it for yourself.
In other news... a friend of mine is currently doing some research for a short report she has to write on blogging as part of an OU course. If anyone would like to help out, let me know and I'll pass on your email address. Thanks.
Posted on April 02, 2004 | Comments (2)