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But would it work?
Zoe Williams has come up with an interesting idea in today's Guardian for a new drug classification system...
"You'd think that by now we'd have devised ourselves a sliding scale for legality based not on the damage you do to yourself, but the damage you do to others. Regular smoking would therefore be a class A (for its efficacy as a long-distance carcinogen), alcohol would be class B (it makes people fight and drive badly), heroin and crack would be class C (they make people steal things), cocaine would be class D, along with PlayStations and an interest in sport (they make people very tedious) and dope would weigh in somewhere closer to the bottom of the alphabet (it sometimes makes people quite quiet), unless mixed with tobacco, in which case it would scooch back up to A."
Posted on March 29, 2005 | Comments (2)
Sitting around
With four days off work, what did I do over the Easter weekend? Erm... not much really. Got a few outstanding jobs done around the house, went to a party and helped a friend move some of his stuff out before he sets off travelling, but most of the time I was just enjoying sitting around. Although this may not seem like a productive use of my time, it does have its benefits. Slacking off is highly relaxing and it leaves you feeling refreshed and raring to go* once you return to work. Another bonus of this time of year is that neither the students or the teaching staff are in college, so I get parked easier at work and it's a nice quiet two weeks. And, relaaaaaax.
*May not be true.
Posted on March 28, 2005 | Comments (0)
Quick question
Do you know anyone with a living room the size of the ones featured in the DFS adverts? I don't. And I definitely don't know anyone with doors wide enough to fit most of the sofas they are advertising through... unless they come in smaller sections that you slot together once inside, or something.
Posted on March 23, 2005 | Comments (1)
Departure
The following is from an email sent by a colleague on 25th January 2000 regarding his feelings about my imminent move to Manchester. I printed a copy to keep and, every time I clear out my filing cabinet, it makes me smile all over again. Thought I'd share the best bits...
"It was with a deep sense of sorrow that I received the news of your departure. Indeed, I can honestly say that I see this as being on a level with the loss of my dear Nova, and you will know that such a comparison cannot lightly be made. As I type, the keyboard is again drenched in my tears, I do hope that it will not be dama&%d.
"Being also a displaced person myself, I can appreciate the call of the North to the heart. It draws, like a wolf howling in the night, like a mother's evening call to her dear children 'come home, it's supper time', like the sound of a greasy cafe opening for business at 6am, the rush of the river as it tumbles down the rocks. Oh yes, it draws and no heart can resist except it be tied to this place of tragedy with strong, strong chains.
"I know the feeling, waking up to the mist and the rain and the fog, the bus late and not even thirty shillings in the pocket for a Big Breakfast at Macs. But you think... at least I'm here, I belong, I don't need to justify it. Yes, you can get pleasure from just opening your eyes and being there... rather than dreaming it, wishing it, pretending...
"I won't go on, I am already unfit now for work, my heart burdened and heavy. At least I have a trip to look forward to on Friday, once again the train will take me through Peterborough, Grantham, Newark, Retford, Doncaster, to Leeds... there I will breathe the Northern air, smell, feel, touch my beloved homeland."
I have yet to work with another person quite as interesting as Maurice.
Posted on March 20, 2005 | Comments (0)
Community spirit
We all know that community spirit is still alive and well here on teh interweb*, but does it still exist in 'real' life? Probably, if you're willing to live in a pretty suburban cul-de-sac and put up with noisy kids who are constatly kicking footballs into your garden, plus the bloke who insists on having his hedges too high so that they block all your daylight. My solution was to avoid as much of the bad stuff as possible by living on a main road, where no children are out playing and everyone keeping themseves pretty much to themselves. This also means that you don't get the sort of 'chip in and help people out' kind of community spirit that you get in some areas, but I was also beginning to wonder if that existed at all anyway in 2005.
Well, it does. I've found a place where you wouldn't think twice about asking someone for help, but they've probably done it before you had to ask anyway. The tip, the dump, the 'household waste centre' - whatever you want to call it, this is a place where everyone really does muck in. Today we spent the afternoon clearing rotting cardboard boxes and rugs out of our rather soggy cellar before loading them into a hired Transit (along with our old bath which has been sat in the garden for months!), to take to a place the council has handily provided for us to dispose of stuff we can't put in the wheelie bins. Turns out that you can't get anything taller than 5' 9" through the entrance though, so we had to lug everything a little further than planned. Before I asked the guy next to us if he could help lift the bath into the dumping zone (or whatever you call it), he'd already done it. I was pleasantly surprised by this but maybe I just don't do enough things that people could, or want to, help with. I suspect a complete stranger wouldn't been keen on helping clear all the other junk out of our house though.
* As I found out two years ago as a blogging newbie, when my whining about missing Top Gear resulted in subsequent viewing of said episode thanks to the lovely Lyle (who I'd yet to meet). Hmm... I officially started this thing two years ago today. Spooky.
Posted on March 19, 2005 | Comments (1)
Things to do when you're bored #1
Try to get yourself a name-check in the Guardian's alternative Budget coverage. Still, this won't stop me grumbling that Gordon Brown has upped the bottom limit for stamp duty a mere 32 months after we could have done with it. (Come on, 32 months isn't that long when you consider that we still have another 268 to go before we finish paying for the house.)
Posted on March 16, 2005 | Comments (1)
The year of the 'big life event'
I've been to a few weddings in the last few years and a handful of people I know have also taken the big mortgage plunge but, up until now, there really hasn't been that much change to the status quo in Lori's World. Then... a work colleague announced her impending motherhood last year, followed by Topper's ex boss getting engaged, another work colleague revealing he's going to become a father, a close family friend announcing her wedding plans, and then the bass player in the band with no name got hitched. My sister's best friend is also 'with child' and now my best friend from uni has also got a little one on the way. This is all far too grown up and responsible for my liking. Weddings, babies... I don't know. Perhaps this will become the year of the Lori & Topper Comedy Gift. Any ideas on what to buy newlyweds and newborns that is both amusing yet inoffensive? I feel I need to lighten the mood somewhat.
Posted on March 14, 2005 | Comments (3)
Colour booster, indeed
Well... it worked, and I've had lots of compliments so far today so I think I'll keep it. The pigtails are just for Comic Relief and the terrible photo was taken with my camera phone at my desk to satisfy some friends who wanted to know how it turned out, so something better may follow in due course. Topper even took photos of the process itself when I looked like a zombie with my brains bashed out, due to the amount of red goo on my head. Mmm, nice.
We raised £140 in our department alone at work (from my movie quiz, three sweepstake posters a swear box and Stuart charging for brewing up), and that was with practically no planning at all so I have no idea how well some better organised sections will have done. I'm off home soon to prepare to watch BBC1 all night for the first time in ages, but will also be tuning in to GMR at 10.30pm to listen to one of the LomoManchester gang being interviewed. Check it out if you're in the Manchester area.
UPDATE: I have put some better photos online now.
Posted on March 11, 2005 | Comments (8)
Lady in red
It's nearly time for RND05 and my preparations for the 'big day' have comprised of: attending the Big Hair & Beyond fashion show at my workplace; buying a red nose; running a comedy movie quiz at work with a £1 entry fee; buying the Comic Relief Little Britain DVD; sorting out some red clothes to wear tomorrow; and buying some red hair dye. I was going to wear a wig, but figured this was as good a day as any to try going red (again). No pansy-assed spray or gel for me though, it's 100% permanent all the way. I won't look as glam as pix did though, as there's only so much a girl can achieve with self-applied chemicals purchased for under a tenner from Tesco, but at least it'll be different from the current blonde look. If it goes wrong, one of my trusty wigs will have to cover up the mess and then I'll spend the weekend fixing it. Whatever the outcome, expect photos... of both the hair and the splendid shoes I picked up at TK Maxx.
Of course, the thing I'm really looking forward to is finding out who's going to win Comic Relief does Fame Academy. I'm voting for Edith (especially after that duet with Ade Edmonson), and am enjoying the fact that I can admit to watching such trashy telly because it's all for 'charidee, mate'.
Posted on March 10, 2005 | Comments (2)
Is there nothing it can't do?
It says a lot when the first I hear of International Women's Day is when I pop over to Google and see their picture has changed.
Posted on March 08, 2005 | Comments (5)
A break from the old routine
On the lead up to RND05 on Friday, everyone at work is trying to get their hands on what little money is in my wallet so I thought I'd do the same with theirs and devise a movie quiz with a DVD prize. Handy then that Silverscreen were doing 5 DVDs for £29.99 and I could only find 4 that I wanted, so the fifth is now the prize. However, this is more money spent to add to the gym membership I am now forking out. I know... me in a gym! Comical, eh?
The real problem is trying to get a routine going to fit in the 'actually going' part of being a gym member. I planned to go straight from work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but have already been asked to go along to something that starts early on Wednesday. Must make the effort. Everything might wobble when it shouldn't now, but if I don't go it'll never stop as I don't have much luck with stopping eating so much! We'll see how it goes.
Posted on March 07, 2005 | Comments (3)
Why is it that...?
On my drive up to the beautiful Yorkshire Dales, the sun comes out and I'm glad I brought my camera so plan to go for a walk, snapping waterfalls and snow-capped peaks. As we leave Topper's parents' house less than an hour later it starts to rain, so I decide to accompany the group to the community centre instead, where they are setting up to video the panto* later on. I potter around indoors, snapping 1970s formica tables, old step ladders and racks of costumes, before the sun comes out again... just as I've finished my colour film and loaded mono! I then venture outside whilst the sun is shining... but it clouds over and begins to rain once more after only 3 shots. Typical.
* Yes, in March. It's odd, I know.
Posted on March 05, 2005 | Comments (0)
Must try harder
I just remembered I had a blog. It was like remembering you have a sandwich toaster.. you know, like it's just been sat there at the top of the cupboard, collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you assume it's broken because you think, well, if it was working I'd be using it all the time surely, but you don't and it just sits there. And then one day you just get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know, and you get it down and it works and you can't believe it. So then you make every kind of sandwich there is... you have toasted sandwich parties! You make Marmite and cheese, chocolate and... pilchards, banana and... acorns, and then as quickly as the desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toasted sandwich maker away and you know what? You don't miss it.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... use your toasted sandwich maker often and you'll get the most out of him. Or, try to think of blog posts that don't just quote classic TV comedy. I was going to jack it all in, dump this pointless mess and move on, but then I checked out my blogroll and was inspired by the wonderful content therein. Inspired only so far as one (mostly 'borrowed') post. But it's a start.
Just got to work out what's wrong with the blacklist and get rid of all this DAMNED COMMENT SPAM now. Grr.
Posted on March 03, 2005 | Comments (1)